NO MORE. i'll make do. not HERE.
tired of feeling terrible about making others feel bad about feeling bad about myself.
NO MORE.
it all makes sense...
(ok, maybe not 'all', perse)
displacing feelings of anger/disappointment
to those i care about
all because of the actual
feelings of anger/disappointment
at myself.
REGRET for this for that...
i say that i don't r-word (in this case, it's a different meaning)
but i guess it surfaces somehow.
don't get me wrong,
i don't r-word everything
it just feels hopeless - that's all.
otherwise, i can't regret something if i feel that i can do something about it.
life's not hopeless after all.
i also feel bad for OVER-sharing =p
why am i like this now?
(but it's actually not with everyone... just a select few)
never wanted to burden anyone with my pettiness and unimportant matters
it's just the way i am.
as a child (even until now actually), i had troubles letting my mom know what i wanted or when i wanted something for myself as i figured it's "okay" not to have it... making up excuses about how i don't really need it and that i'd be "fine" without whatever it was. i'll make do.
well, i guess this is what "web-journal-writing" (ie. blogging) is for...
expressing my thoughts 'outloud',
although this particular one is viewed by eyes other than my own so it's practically like telling someone else,
but i guess without having to actually verbalize.
so i might as well get it over with...
(and before i forget the thought altogether)
when i stopped speaking mid-sentence and said "i can't..."
i was talking about why i would possibly want to move to study or just be elsewhere - somewhere not HERE.
i just left out the sad, depressing bit about the whole damn thing...
NO MORE.
it all makes sense...
(ok, maybe not 'all', perse)
displacing feelings of anger/disappointment
to those i care about
all because of the actual
feelings of anger/disappointment
at myself.
REGRET for this for that...
i say that i don't r-word (in this case, it's a different meaning)
but i guess it surfaces somehow.
don't get me wrong,
i don't r-word everything
it just feels hopeless - that's all.
otherwise, i can't regret something if i feel that i can do something about it.
life's not hopeless after all.
i also feel bad for OVER-sharing =p
why am i like this now?
(but it's actually not with everyone... just a select few)
never wanted to burden anyone with my pettiness and unimportant matters
it's just the way i am.
as a child (even until now actually), i had troubles letting my mom know what i wanted or when i wanted something for myself as i figured it's "okay" not to have it... making up excuses about how i don't really need it and that i'd be "fine" without whatever it was. i'll make do.
well, i guess this is what "web-journal-writing" (ie. blogging) is for...
expressing my thoughts 'outloud',
although this particular one is viewed by eyes other than my own so it's practically like telling someone else,
but i guess without having to actually verbalize.
so i might as well get it over with...
(and before i forget the thought altogether)
when i stopped speaking mid-sentence and said "i can't..."
i was talking about why i would possibly want to move to study or just be elsewhere - somewhere not HERE.
i just left out the sad, depressing bit about the whole damn thing...
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